There are Always Two
by Neross-qod
Summary: After spending years on Earth Zim has grown tall enough to rival the All-mighty Tallest. Now there is just one thing standing in his way. Irken law dictates there must always be TWO Tallest. So who will he choose to stand by his side?
1. Not so Tall After All

Title : There Are Always Two

Summary : After spending years on Earth Zim has grown tall enough to rival the All-mighty Tallest. Now there is just one thing standing in his way. Irken law dictates there must always be TWO Tallest. So who will he choose to stand by his side?

Warning : Contains guy on alien guy love. No likey? THEN DON'T READ! Oh yeah and there may be some graphic sex and language and violence or something...I'm going to go eat a muffin now.

Disclaimer : I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING I SAY! I'm normal.

Chapter I : Not So Tall After All

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Nine years...it had been nine years since Zim had first landed upon the Earth and began to plot the planet's demise. It had been nine years since Dib first attempted to reveal the alien for what he was. And it had been nine long years that gave Zim the time and ability to grow more quickly than a normal Irken should have. Zim blamed it on the Earth's altered food supply. All the growth-hormones they used in their food had had an amazing influence on Zim's own physique. However, Zim was still quite short when compared to the Earth-pig's, and although this irritated him, it also gave him ideas about his mission, and his rank as an invader.

So now, on the day before the tenth anniversary of Zim's arrival to Earth, Zim was finally headed home, an ever faithful GIR at his side. Unlike the last time he was here, Zim arrived to silence and to a shocked sort of awe. Each Irken he passed stopped what they were doing and simply stared. He smirked as he noticed that some Irkens even lost their focus so badly at the sight of his impressive height that they ran into each other, or walls. And in one case, a deadly metal shredder. This, of course, had Zim cackling in glory, and Gir screaming in mirth and scampering around Zim's feet like a hyperactive Chihuahua.

And then at last Zim came before the Tallest, and although he stared them in the eye, he no longer had to look up at them, but slightly down. He knew his height wasn't quite above that of the tallest but it was enough for all around to see who the taller one really was. Red and Purple spared each other worried glances before turning back to face the now taller Zim. "Uh...hi Zim! How's the conquering of Earth going?" Red asked, seeming a little nervous having to actually look up to someone.

Zim merely smirked and merely petted an ever excited GIR who was looking around the place like a kid in a candy store. Zim turned his red eyes upward for a moment, as if considering his reply before turning his sinister smirk toward the tallest once more. "The Earth scum have forced me to ...rethink...my priorities. As well as the Empire's. My mighty...not so tallest." Zim added the last with a tone that spoke much more than it actually said.

The room grew awkwardly quiet, and GIR finally broke free of his masters grip to romp around the Tallest's command room, pushing buttons and pulling on the leggu of any Irken he could come into contact with. Zim, who had grown quite used to GIR's antics merely continued to stare down the Tallest with his never-failing smirk.

"Wh..what do you want Zim?" Purple stuttered, shrinking down to hide behind Red as if Zim would suddenly pull out a lazer to shoot him with.

The idea had crossed Zim's mind...but he felt that that would be a bit TOO hostile...even for him. So instead he merely crossed his arms defiantly and grinned, "I want what is rightfully Zim's. I want the title of Tallest...and the power. Oh the power that I shall possess! " he exclaimed, before smirking in triumph at Red and Purple once more.

The two tallest exchanged glances and then bowed their heads in unison. "It seems we have no choice. As Irken law clearly states that the Tallest Irken will be leaders of all of the Empire...and commanders of all of the armada. So Zim...I guess the power is yours." Red stated with a sigh. And Zim, happily, let out an evil laugh that rang throughout the control room with an imposing nature that filled all present with a deadly sort of dread.

Until Purple spoke up once more. "So where's your second?"

Zim stopped laughing and turned back toward the two rulers, his expression one of blank confusion. " My wha-?" Zim questioned oh-so-intelligently, followed by the giddy laughter of GIR as he ran by in the background.

Red and Purple exchanged glances and then turned to face Zim with twin looks of annoyance and irritation. "Don't tell me you don't know the almighty law." Red asked, his voiced filled with awe, and not the good kind that was followed by worshipping, but the kind that was followed by ridicule and laughter.

"Of course Zim knows of the almighty law! How dare you suggest that Zim does not know of it! Zim knows all." Zim proclaimed, showing his displeasure by making a sort of squeezing motion with his gloved hands.

The tallest did not seem convinced. "So...then you know that you have to have someone to rule with you?" Purple asked, sounding disbelieving.

"Someone ELSE?! Zim does not NEED someone ELSE! Zim is tallest! Why would Zim need someone to rule beside him?!" Zim asked furiously, seeing his chances at power slip away between his claws.

"Because it's the law Zim. There can't be just one Tallest." Red explained, speaking as if he were talking to an idiot. Which...he probably was.

"Yeah!" Purple cried out in agreement, seeming to suddenly grow a backbone, "That would be stupid! How do you think WE got the position TOGETHER? It wasn't the lottery I'll tell you that!"

"There are always TWO tallest Zim." Red stated simply, crossing his arms and giving Zim a look that said 'I can't believe you just wasted my time for this.'. "So unless you come up with somebody just as tall, if not taller than you are, in the next two weeks...we're going to have to kill you."

"Yeah! And this time, we mean it!" Purple added with a twisted grin.

"Huh?" Zim said, his look returning to deadpan clulelessness, " 'This time'? But you've never tried to kill me before."

The Tallest quickly exchanged glances once more. "Uh. Yeah! You're right...he just must be confusing you with...somebody else." Red said nervously, elbowing Purple hard for his blunder.

Zim glared at the two and then turned away, gripping his chin in deep thought. "This is MOST troublesome. I must find a second quickly or...or... uuugh!" Zim shuddered at the thought of facing a royal execution. They were never pleasant...well...at least not for the one being executed...otherwise they were really fun to watch. At last Zim turned back to face the room, "VERY WELL! Zim will find a...Second...and then RETURN. And when I do..." Zim's evil grin returned, "...the power will MINE."

--

Neross : Well? Good? Was it good? How was it? WHY WON'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?!

SAY SOMETHING!

Say it. SAAAYYY IIITTT!!

Say it or I'll make your head explode.

Oh fine...just leave a review...thingy...and then get out. I have to type up the next chapter. The chapter...OF DOOM!! BUWAHAHAHAHA!!

You shall all face my doom! Beware!


	2. Dib Meats

Neross : I see I have received some reviews since last night. Excellent. You do well to praise me for my greatness. NOW VIEW THE GREATNESS OF CHAPTER TWO!!

...

Fear the meat.

Chapter 2 : Dib Meats

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Zim returned to Earth, and his base, with all the speed of a kicked puppy running with it's tail between it's legs. He could not believe he would have to share HIS power and HIS title with someone else. And then there was the little problem of even FINDING someone as tall (if not taller) than him that he could stand for the rest of eternity.

As he descended from his ship Zim walked toward the elevator in a daze, his mind filled with possible candidates, none of which seemed to work. There were no Irkens he could choose from, this he knew all too clearly. And any other alien species he had come across simply gave Zim the impression that they were simply too stupid, too UNWORTHY, of ruling beside him. His trip to Hobo 13 had shown him that.

So now Zim faced a dilemma. Who ELSE was there that he could choose. And then he reached an idea which had his squidly-splooch doing flip-flops of distaste. The Humans...the filthy and disgusting, germy, Earth-pigs had a plethora of tall individuals he could choose from. This did not make him feel any better. The humans were a horrible naive and stupid race. There were not any suited for-

Zim stopped processing. No. He couldn't. He WOULDN'T. There was no way he could choose HIM...even if he WAS the most intelligent of the humans. He simply would not choose the DIB-MONKEY. As Zim stepped into the elevator he shuddered in a mixture of disgust, fear, and pure awkwardness that would no-doubt follow should the Dib-stink be his second. On top of that it only irritated Zim more that Dib had actually grown to be quite a bit taller than he had. The alien assumed it must have been a trait he inherited from his father, Professor Membrane, as had always seemed to stand at least a head and shoulders above any other dirt-pig the planet had to offer.

Still, Zim could think of no preferable alternatives. After all, Dib was the smartest and most Irk-like human Zim had ever met, even if he was an annoying worm-baby.

So Zim continued to ponder his choices, deep in thought, even after being distributed at the house level of his base. While he paced GIR took to running about, screaming wildly, as usual before finally plopping down on the sofa to watch the 'Angry Monkey' show. Zim was just about to join him when the ever-ominous sound of the doorbell rang. Zim and GIR both exchanged glance before quickly donning their disguises. Then, as was normal, they both cautiously watched the door as Zim slowly opened it to see...

A pizza delivery boy.

Zim's eyes narrowed and he turned to glare at his robotic side-kick in annoyance, "GIR!" he growled, "What have I told you about ordering pizza from the humans!"

Gir merely cocked his green, dog head to the side and flailed his arms as if he were shrugging. "I didn't order pizza this time. I've got TACOS!" the crazy dog exclaimed franticly before shooting said Tacos out of his head only to devour them nearly instantly. Zim's eyes rose in suspicion.

"But...if you didn't order the pizza then who-?"

However, Zim never got to find out who, for as he turned to face the pizza-boy once more, the box he held opened and out sprung a metal vice with four 'arms' which wrapped around the irken's body and successfully pinned his arms to his torso and sent him flying back into his base, landing flat on his back, his wig falling off at the force. He let out an angry gasp and glared up at the pizza-boy who now straddled him a camera in hand. " I've got you now Zim! I knew your weakness for junk-food would do you in!" a familiar voiced cried triumphantly.

Zim's eyes opened wide in fury before squeezing into a glare, "Dib-scum! You dare to challenge ZIM! " the irken snarled his hands clawing at the binds that held his arms to his sides. And the alien continued to rage even as Dib tore off his own disguise. "Challenge you Zim? Face it! I've finally won!" the human stated proudly. "I finally have you! I'd like to see you threaten the Earth NOW! Can ya? No? TOO BAD!" The large-headed teen taunted, leaning his face dangerously close to the irken's beneath him.

"Foolish Earth-scum you think you've won?! ZIM HAS ONLY BEGUN TO FIGHT! GIR! Attack the earth-pig's head!" Zim ordered glaring defiantly up at his captor. From behind him Zim could hear GIR's obedient voice as he replied to his master's command with a 'Yes Sir!' before returning to his normal hyperactive self as he launched himself straight onto Dib's face with a giddy scream. The human fell back pulling on the tiny robot to try and claw him off and stop him from continuously screaming in his face.

In the meantime Zim used his pak legs to slowly burn through his restraints with a high-powered lazer. He was already on his feet, dusting himself off when Dib finally managed to get GIR to let go. "Stupid Earth-slime! As if your INFERIOR technology could contain the mighty ZIM! "the Irken cried grinning in triumph at having freed himself.

"I'm not done yet Zim! I'll stop you and whatever plan it is you have to take over the world! I'll never let you win!" Dib growled back fixing his glasses as they had become askew during his tussle with GIR.

Zim however merely raised an eyebrow, or he would if he had had any, and stared at Dib as if he had suddenly lost half of his brain. "You incompetent human. Zim no longer cares about destroying your puny dirt-ball planet. Why would Zim care about one stinking planet when Zim could control a whole empire of worlds!"

Now it was Dib's turn to stare at the alien in confusion. "Empire? What are you talking about?"

"Foolish Dib-thing. Zim's amazing new height, though an effect of eating your worlds PUTRID government food, has given Zim the ability to claim the title of Tallest of the Irken empire! I shall rule all of the armada and when I do," Zim grinned evilly, causing Dib to glare back in turn, " I shall crush the Earth like the overly ripe fruit it truly is!"

And then, before Dib could reply, Gir reappeared, the head of his disguise pulled down to allow him to sip on a frozen poop! drink. The two adversaries turned to stare at the tiny robot who then turned toward Zim and cocked his head to the side. "But I thought you was going to get splattered." GIR said with a pout.

Zim sent GIR a look and sharply replied in a tone that sounded a great deal like he was trying to defend a lie. "I will not be SPLATTERED GIR." The alien took a moment to look away from the other two occupants of the room to glare at the wall as he crossed his arms and seemed to pout as he muttered an explanation. "I'll just be executed unless I can find a second to rule beside me."

Dib raised an eyebrow again and looked at Zim as skeptics often regarded him. "Wait...so let me get this straight. You went to claim the position of leader of all of the Irken empire...only to be told you had to find someone to rule with you...or be executed?"

Zim gave Dim an exasperated glare before muttering a small 'yes'.

"MAN that is stupid!"

Zim threw his arms to his sides and clenched his hands into fists in his anger at being mocked by such a 'lowly' life-form'. "SILENCE pitiful earth-slug! I WILL find myself a second and I WILL claim what is rightfully Zim's! "

Dib glared back, though he smiled as if feeling triumphant, "You won't have a chance to become the Tallest if I capture you first!" And with that Dib launched himself at Zim. The two bodies hit the floor and rolled, Zim loosing both of his contacts in the process. When they came out of the roll Zim managed to throw the human off of him and into a nearby wall with the aid of his pak's spidery mechanic legs. Dib was hardly down for the count however as he pulled a pair of black and grey handcuffs that had Zim doing a retake. They were identical to the pair he had seen on his very first day on Earth. Recognizing the look of surprise and slight fear in Zim's eyes Dib smirked and charged toward Zim once more bowling the alien over before he managed to pull away and leave Zim reeling on the floor.

Then, in an instant. Dib was ontop of Zim once more and locking the alien's hands above his head. There was a moment of silence in which they both wondered if, in fact, the cuffs actually worked as they had wondered that day ten faithful years ago. And then Zim felt it, a shock that swept through his entire system, like electrotherapy only there was an odd lemony-smell that seemed to bloom through Zim's antennae. Then, there was nothing but blackness.

Until his Pak sent a second electrical wave through his body, waking him up again. Both human and alien eyed each other. "Well that was anti-climatic." Dib commented lightly before Zim's spidery pak arms had tossed him off once more. This time, before the human could recover, Zim had his arms and legs pinned to the wall using a pronged extension at the end of each of his four mechanic arms. Now as they glared at each other a slow smile grew upon Zim's face as he looked down to the cuffs around his wrists and then back up at the human who had dared to attach them.

"It seems...GIR...that I have found my ...second. Puny Dib-scum! You have only just proven that you are the only one WORTHY of ruling beside the great and tallest ZIM! " Zim proclaimed, first softly, then nearly shouting in pride. "You should feel honored. " Zim added, his tone mocking in it's glee.

"This isn't going to be pleasant...is it..."

--

Neross : Oh it will be...for SOME of us. Now review! Review or pay the ultimate price!

Random person : uh...which is...what exactly?

Neross : ...oh you're good. Not as good as me, but still good. YOU'VE WON THIS ROUND RANDOM PERSON! But you shall face my vengeance. And it shall be NASTY like...like...slimy DOOM raining down from above.

Now as for the rest of you. Review or be pummeled with MEAT! MEAT I SAY!


	3. Fear the Females

Neross : Bow down pitiful Earth-scum! For I, the great and almighty NEROSS, have returned with another chapter of EXCELLENCE!! ...Oo! Somebody made donuts!

Chapter 3 : Fear the Females

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Dib pulled and strained against his restraints, unable to believe that Zim was about to load him onto his ship like cargo in order to bring him back and force him to be one of the rulers of the Irken Empire. The floating table he was strapped to shook slightly as GIR dropped a particularly large and heavy box unceremoniously down onto the loading dock floor. Dib glared as Zim came stalking up beside him to yell out orders to the tiny robot.

"Be careful with that GIR! I want everything to be in one piece for our new royal apartments back on Irk."

Dib pulled against his restraints once more and growled when the alien's attention shifted to him with a smirk. "You'll never get away with this Zim! My family will-!"

"Your family?" Zim interrupted, sounding both snide and triumphant, "Your family has never believed you about me...well...your sister knows about me..but she doesn't care about you. Face it Dib, you're going to be one of the Tallest. I suggest you grow to like the idea."

As much as Dib hated to admit that Zim could EVER be right, which was a lot, I mean he REALLY hated the irken, he knew that Zim had a point. His father had never believed him about Zim being an alien, heck he had sat down and had tea with the Irken once! And Gaz...well...there were times when Dib wondered if Gaz even cared if he lived or died. So even as Zim began to push him into the ship Dib felt his hopes of being rescued dying.

Still, Dib knew he had to escape somehow. "Think about this Zim! Do you honestly believe your people will accept me as their leader? I mean come ON! I'm not even the same race as you." Dib tried, hoping that Zim would see the flaw in his own logic.

Zim merely looked down at the human and raised an eyebrow, then he looked up as if considering it before looking back down at Dib with a purely pleased grin. "Doesn't matter. Once I am Tallest they'll have to do what I say. Besides I'm sure your filthy and enormous head will more than enough to impress them.

"Hey! My head's not that big!" Dib ground out angrily, as the cargo doors to Zim's ship shut behind him. Dib let out a startled sort of whimper before playing his last card. "But...But I'm a male! Shouldn't you pick a female like...like Tak to be your second?"

Zim stopped dead cold and visibly shuddered from head to toe before turning back to look down at Dib. "Do you know NOTHING?! Females are a rare and dangerous breed. And do you wish Zim to go willing to his own demise?! Tak is nowhere close to the Tallest in height...not to mention her HIDEOUS personality and LIES. And Zim knows all about EARTH FEMALES and their DISGUSTING..." the alien shuddered again, " ...reproductive organs. NO! Zim will not risk his one chance at glory by siding with some FEMALE. Besides...a female would only make Zim look weak and squirmy in comparison. Now be silent! Zim must have QUIET if he is to fly us to Irk with great speed!" and with that the alien walked off to start the ship.

Dib began panic as he heard the engines of Zim's Voot cruiser begin to power up. And he really began to worry when Gir ran up and down the length of the ship crying 'whee!' at the top of his lungs. Then, quite suddenly, the world fell out from underneath him Dib could feel the awesome pressure as Zim's ship shot out into space and toward the Irken home world. Afraid more than ever that he would never see the Earth again, until Zim had conquered it of course, Dib tried his last ditch resort.

The next time that Gir came running by Dib hailed him to his floating prison with a quiet 'hey!'. The SIR unit came to a quick halt next to Dib and practically screamed in his ear. "What 'cha want?"

Dib took a moment to allow his ears to stop ringing before he grinned in a conspiratory way and nudged his head in the direction of the mechanic 'belts' which had him tied down. "If you get me out of these restraints I'll make biscuits with you Gir." Dib offered, clearly to the robot's delight as he let out a happy squeal and jumped instantly to tear off each belt within a matter of seconds. Dib couldn't help but smile as he rubbed his swore wrists and watched the mechanic side-kick run circles around his floating stretcher. "Thanks. You know, you're not so bad for an evil alien sidekick."

The tiny robot gave Dib a blank look before grinning stupidly and proclaiming, "I'm going to go push some buttons!" and with that Zim's hyperactive side-kick ran off screaming just as he had before, as if nothing had happened. Dib merely rose an eyebrow at the robots antics before quietly pulling himself off the table and sneaking up toward the cockpit where he found Zim busy at the controls. Dib snuck up behind the alien and grabbed him, pulling him into a strangle hold and nearly up out of his seat.

Zim let out an odd strangled sound and grasped desperately at Dib's arm, clawing at him in order to break free.

"I won't let you succeed Zim! I'm going to take the ship back to Earth! " Dib ground out.

Zim glared up at Dib in indignation and pushed the Earthling away with his pak legs. He turned, and used the windshield of his voot cruiser to launch himself at Dib. The two of them tussled and unfortunately Zim found himself pinned against the ship's wall by Dib, his pak legs crushed between him and the ship. Zim let out a snarl and glared at Dib who had his arms pinned above him in a tight grip. Dib merely smirked back triumphantly. "You're not going to win Zim. I've beaten you every time."

The irken glared furiously before slowly gaining back his trade-mark prideful smirk. "Not...EVERY time Dib-stink. Let's not forget the time I traded your innards for a mooing-box."

Dib glare and slammed the irken harder against the wall, using his body to add extra force to the blow. Then, something happened that had them both turning to each other with eyes wide filled with shock. At the feel of his body pressed against that of Zim's, Dib had let out a soft hiss, one that had been mirrored by the alien stuck between him and the wall.

The two rivals eyed each other awkwardly and the tension increased, each one afraid to break to find the results not to his liking. They simply hovered there, pressed against one another, staring into the other's eyes as if looking for some clue that what was happening was just...a mistake or some sort of strange dream. And slowly Dib's grip upon Zim's thin wrists relaxed until he was no longer holding them and was instead leaning his arm against the wall. And Zim, as if memorized slowly moved his arms as if to wrap them around Dib's neck. Each rival watched carefully as the other's eyes drifted close.

Then suddenly they were both sent sprawling to the ground as the ship shuddered and shifted beneath them. They fell into a crumpled heap on the ground and Zim gave off an irritated snarl before sitting up and yelling furiously at his ship. "Computer! What's going on?!"

"We have reached planet Irk's orbit." the computer replied, it's tone sounding almost, disappointed.

Zim's expression immediately grew gleeful, his mouth ripping open in a sadistic grin which he turned on to Dib. "You're too late DIB! Now you have no choice but to become my second and help me rule all of the Irken Empire!"

--

Neross : Soo...you're not mad at me for ruining the moment are you?

(is pelted with garbage) Ack! Ugh! Arg! Okay! Okay! I know, I know! I'm horrible! But I'll have some smut for you next chapter I promise!

(ahem) Now that that's out of the way.

REVIEW OR FACE THE WRATH OF NEROSS!! QUEEN OF DARKNESS AND DESTRUCTION AND...and...AND SMUT!! GLORIOUS, FANTASTICAL SMUT!!


	4. Crowning Glory

Neross : Yes...yes...with each review I am closer to ruling the world!

Warning : This chapter contains violence and sex...possibly violent sex..oodles and oodles of sex...you no like? THEN SKIP THE NAUGHTY BITS!!

Disclaimer : Why do I even need to put this here anymore?

Chapter Four : Crowning Glory

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Dib stared in pure awe at the sight before him. The planet Irk was truly amazing. Unlike Earth, which shone blue-green, Irk shone red like Mars. Only Dib was sure that it wasn't the surface of the planet that was red but the massive amount of Irken technology that encompassed the entire expanse of the Irken globe. The human couldn't help but stare in wonder as Zim's ship drew ever nearer to the strange and foreign world.

Zim stood beside Dib, his arms crossed over his chest, a possessive, triumphant, and utterly evil smile plastered across his face as he watched his home world next to the awe-struck human.

"This is your home world?" Dib asked in amazement, almost afraid to blink his eyes and open them again only to find that he'd been dreaming.

Zim titled his head to the side and grinned in pride, "Of course Dib-stink. Where did you think we Irkens were from, Pluto?"

Dib sent Zim a mild glare but it did not have as much fire in it as it had before leaving Earth. Then, as the ship came in to dock Dib felt his stomach flip, not only from the impact of the sudden stop of the ship, but also from nervousness and fear. He could see hundreds of tiny Irkens hurrying about, at work in their own society, and it unnerved Dib to know that Zim wanted him to rule these creatures. Creatures that, though he had attempted to study, still knew very little about.

Zim, however, seemed confident, though Dib could hardly remember a time when he didn't and simply tugged on the back of Dib's collar, pulling him away from the window. "Come Dib-pig. We have a an empire to take over." Zim stated, sounding more happy than any other time in Dib's memory.

As Zim and Dib stepped off of the ship's gangplank the human was instantly aware that every large irken eye was locked onto him and Zim. The blank stares of awe and wonder were only half as unnerving to him as the looks of utter revulsion and fear that ran through those giant eyes. The tiny Irkens parted before him and Zim, Gir leading the way screaming as giddily as ever. And although Dib could hardly muster up the courage to do more than stare back at the Irkens with his own fear and awe, Zim only continued to stare straight ahead, his look of victory unmoving.

He led the way through the streets of the planet to a huge building which Dib could only guess was the palace of the Tallest. Zim marched the human inside with more enthusiasm than he had had shooting that muffin at his head all those years ago. At last, after what seemed like an eternity to Dib, the trio reached a pair of large doors blood-red doors, framed with Irken skulls. This was more than enough to freak Dib out and could only stare at Zim as if he were the weirdest being he had ever come across (not particularly untrue in his opinion) as the Irken seemed to nearly be bouncing for joy.

When at las the doors were opened Dib at last was allowed a view at the most highest authority upon Irk, the Tallest and the Control Brain. Zim grinned victoriously and marched forward with all the authority of a dictator, which, Dib assumed, he was about to become. When at last Zim came to a stop at the bottom platform, at the base of the staircase that led up to the Tallest's platform and then the Control Brain beyond it. Dib had seen the tallest a few times, even talked to them once years ago when Zim had been taken by Sizz-lorr to Food Courtia. Still, he couldn't hep but feel awkward standing before the Irken Empire's leaders...or...soon to be ex-leaders as it were.

For a moment an awkward silence filled the air, broken only by Gir's playful laughs in the background as he bothered one of the guards by continuously running around him. Then at last Purple spoke, "Hey! Isn't that that big-headed kid?" he questioned, pointing at Dib while turning to Red with a raised eye (as they had no eyebrows).

Red studied Dib for a moment before his eyes became wide with recognition, "Hey yeah! You're right. Nice choice for a second Zim. What, you couldn't find anyone with a smaller head?"

Dib glared and was about to retort that his head wasn't THAT big, when Zim interrupted him, placing an arm before him, his evil grin never faltering. "The Dib-monkey's head MAY be quite large, but he is the tallest and most worthy of the" Zim squirmed momentarily before he was able to continue, "HU-mans. Besides he's tall enough isn't he?" Zim added, crossing his arms and looking slightly put-off.

Dib sent him a side-long glare before turning back to face the Tallest as they spoke. "Well...he IS taller than us." Purple commented reluctantly.

Red nodded and studied Dib once more, "And he's not COMPLETELY hideous." The two Tallest nodded after a moment and sighed in unison. "Alright Zim," Red began, sounding strained, "You and your filthy human Second will be crowned Tallest."

Zim enthusiastically clenched both of his hands before bringing them to his sides in a way Dib had often done himself when he had received something of note and let out a successful 'Yes!'.

"Alright then you two. Come on up here so we can set you up in the 'crowning chamber' and get your DNA samples." Purple said, stepping slightly to side and gesturing off to his left at something that reminded Dib greatly of one of those freezers you see in the back of a fast-food joint.

"Crowning chamber?" Dib asked nervously, not liking the sound of this at all.

"Oh be quiet earth scum. Zim is this close to becoming ruler of the Irken empire. You will not ruin Zim's chances by having 'the nerves'." Zim hissed furiously, pulling Dib forward by his sleeve. The human found he had no choice but to go along with this stupid 'crowning' if he was ever going to get out of this thing with his head attached.

However, he nearly bolted when the two Tallest opened the doors to the 'crowning chamber' to reveal some-sort of plush purple room covered in nothing but large cushy pillows upon a mattress-floor. There were odd three-inch wide holes in the walls that Dib did not trust at all and was fairly certain did not release anything 'fun'. He took a step back muttered to Zim quietly and nervously, hoping not to reveal to the two other tall Irkens that he was afraid. "I'm not sure about this Zim...just what does this 'crowning' entail anyway?"

Zim glared at him and hissed back angrily, gripping the collar of Dib's jacket in order to make his point clear. "Zim is only going to say this ONCE Dib-worm. You will NOT ruin this for Zim...if you do Zim will tear out your organs and ...and this time Zim will NOT put them back when he is done."

Dib swallowed audibly and nodded in understanding before at last Zim released him. And then, together, the two walked into the crowning room. As the entered and stood upon the threshold, the doors slid shut behind them with a foreboding 'hissing' sound which had Dib jumping.

For a moment the duo simply stood in silence, Zim examining his pointed gloves, as if he were a girl examining her nails, though Dib knew that Zim was far from being a girl. Dib in the meantime let his eyes wander around the room until at last an odd computerized voice spoke out, seemingly from the walls. "The crowning ceremony has now commenced. In order to ensure the future safety of the new tallest a DNA sample is required. In accordance with Irken law the two Tallest candidates will now perform a mating ritual in order for their DNA to be collected and stored for future use. Lubrication will be provided for your convenience. Have a nice day!" And then the voice disappeared just as a tube of lubrication was shot out of each of the holes that Dib had been so frightened of earlier.

The awkward silence had suddenly grown a whole new level. Dib's face had taken on quite a ruddy color while Zim merely looked annoyed. "We...We have to WHAT?! Hold on this is NOT what I signed up for! You can forget this whole thing Zim I'm getting out of here!" Dib cried in a panicky sort of tone, his voice rising half an octave in his distress.

He turned to bang upon the door only to feel a pair of claws grip his shoulders and toss him away from the door. Dib fell onto his back and recovered only fast enough to see the look of pure anger upon Zim's face at having Dib try, for a third time, take away his chance at becoming the most powerful Irken in the galaxy. "Must Zim painfully DRILL this into your enormous brain Dib-filth?!" The Irken snapped crossing the room in predatory strides, as Dib tried to pull himself to his feet despite the silky texture of the cushions that served not only as the bedding but the floor as well. It was only seconds before Zim was glaring Dib in the face and gripping him by the collar once more. "Now you WILL mate with Zim willing or Zim will FORCE the mate rituals upon you."

Dib glared down at the Irken and for the first time in his life couldn't care less that he was an alien. "That is IT! I am SICK of taking orders from you! You dirty alien bastard!" Dib cried back, grabbing Zim by his own collar and shoving him forward, sending them both into a tumbling mess as Zim had refused to release the human's coat collar.

"You filthy earth-pig!" Zim hissed promptly hitting Dib square in the jaw. "How dare you refuse ZIM!"

Dib merely wiped away the blood from the split-lip he had just earned and threw himself ontop of the alien once more, grabbing him around the middle as he slammed him into the cushy floor below. He managed to repay Zim for the sock to the jaw once before the Irken grabbed his other hand with his own clawed one. Dib growled and rolled to the side, hoping to break free. This attempt was foiled as Zim not only hung on but clawed at his shoulder, his claws scraping through both coat and flesh. Dib let out a hiss kneed the Irken promptly in the gut once.

Zim let out a grunt of pain and reached down to grab either side of Dib's neck before shooting downward to bite harshly at Dib's neck. To the alien's surprise however, the human did not let out a sound of pain but instead moaned in pleasure. Zim pulled away nearly instantly and for a moment the alien and human eyed each-other as they had upon Zim's ship, though this time fear was replaced by anger.

Then it happened in a rush. Neither one could figure out who closed the distance and brought their lips together for the first time, but they didn't seem to care as they eagerly attacked each other in a new way. They fervently tore at each other, each one fighting for supremacy, Zim's wiry irken tongue wrapping around Dib's in a way that was both odd and highly provocative. The make-out session lasted for quite a while before Dib rolled them over once more, pinning the smaller male body beneath his own. He ripped off his coat with a sense of urgency, quickly following it by his shirt, though oddly enough, once he was free from both he found that all he wanted to do was grin sadistically down at the alien pinned beneath him.

"You know I'll beat you at this too Zim..." Dib ground out just as he ground his hips against the Irken. Zim let out a hiss of pleasure before glaring furiously up at the human and grabbing him by the shoulders. "Over Zim's dead and mutilated body you will!" he snarled flipping them over once more.

Dib couldn't figure out how the Irken lost his gloves so quickly, his mind was in a haze from the feel of Zim's tongue roving over his chest and nipples like some sort of warm, wet, snake. Dib hardly raised the effort to stop the moans and breathes of pleasure he emitted at the alien's ministrations. And closed his eyes when Zim found a particularly sweet spot upon his neck to suckle and nip at. When the human had opened them again Zim's shirt was gone and Dib found he couldn't help but marvel at the Irken's naked and hairless chest.

And then Dib spotted the victorious smirk upon Zim's face and found his anger renewed. He growled in an animalistic manner that was beyond his reasoning to explain and pulled himself up, grabbing the alien's shoulders to pin him to the wall. There he attacked the Irken's neck as the green male had attacked his, though he bit at it harshly before running his mouth upward to meet the alien's mouth once more. Dib's mind couldn't keep up with his actions as his hands searched the other's flesh with rough and unrestrained passion. Then, at last, Dib's hands came to the hem of the alien's pants. With a forceful groan he pulled them down, past the alien's hips, and wrapped his ever searching hands around Zim's arousal.

This, however, seemed to snap Zim out of whatever trance he had been in as he shoved Dib back down onto the cushy floor and pillows and stared down at him in a way that a lion stares down at a Zebra. He kicked off his boot unceremoniously and let his pants simply slip off before he slowly slinked downward and crawled his way up Dib's body to the buckle of Dib's dark jeans. The human couldn't help but gaze in pure sexual awe at him as he did so. And Dib couldn't help but think, 'When had Zim ever been this sexy?' before the alien had ripped his pants open with less remorse than he had had collecting the organs of his human classmates ten long years ago.

Dib's boxers and jeans were pulled down with as much passion as he had been punched with and the teenager found he couldn't do anything but watch as the Irken pulled himself up and drizzled lubrication all over his throbbing cock. Dib moaned audibly as Zim made sure that he was fully coated, and the alien couldn't help but smirk at the control he had over the earth-scum, his rival who had thwarted him more times than he liked to think about.

However, just as the Irken was about to apply the lubrication to his own heated member, he found himself thrown back and pinned to the floor, a grinning raven-haired human hovering above him with a victorious smirk all his own. Zim was about to let out one of his patented threats/insults, when he suddenly felt Dib enter him, roughly, and without mercy. Zim let out a cry of pain but snarled in anger at the human's actions. He gripped the human's shoulders and dug into them in both fury and pain. The teen didn't seem to mind however as he pulled back out only to thrust into the alien once more.

This time Zim's cry was one of pleasure and Dib couldn't help but grin at the sound. He bit down on the Irken's neck as he began to thrust into him over and over again, torturing both Zim's neck and his lower regions by dragging their bodies ever closer in a sick sort of friction. Zim snarled in irritation at the loss of control however he knew he wasn't beaten yet, though he was so close. So infuriatingly and wonderfully close.

Dib himself didn't notice the sound of the pak arms revealing themselves. Didn't even see them until he suddenly felt something tear into him from behind. He let out a howl of pain and had to fight back the tears as the thing thrust into again and again mercilessly. He glared down at the sneering alien below him and let out a howl of rage, pulling at the alien's antennae. Zim himself whined in pain though he squinted up in rage at the human and merely forced the pak leg in deeper.

All at once Dib's vision went white, and felt the pleasure override the pain. HIs grip on Zim's leggu loosened and instead he fingered it it softly as he began thrusting into the alien once more. Together they were a mass of friction and heat, neither one willing to give up total control, though each one secretly wished to both rule and be ruled as the pleasure was too great to stand. Then at last Dib came, spilling his seed inside of the Irken below him. Zim let out a guttural moan as he too succumbed and let loose his essence upon the them both.

--

Outside of the 'crowning chamber' Red, Purple, and Gir sat upon a couch, one tallest on either side of the tiny robot. They each munched happily from a huge shared bowl of popcorn and watched with matching giddy grins as the screen before them let out noises of both pain and pleasure. "Why do they make those funny noises?!" Gir asked Red, seeming curious.

Red merely sighed in irritation, "There is no way I'm explaining it. YOU explain it to him." he stated simply.

Purple placed his hands on either side of his hips and glared over at Red, "Why do I have to explain mating rituals to the robot? You were the one who put his body together!"

"Yeah, but you're the one who gave him a paperclip, some string, and a bouncy ball for brains." Red retorted, his square eyes never moving from the screen.

There was another moment of silence between them as the three returned to watching the screen before them before Gir spoke up once more, this time turning his question to purple. "Did you guys do it like that?" he asked, pointing at the screen.

At this Red smirked and merely sent Purple a meaningful glance, "Actually, we got it done with less violence. He always HAS had a filthy love for mating."

Purple glared at Red once more, "Oh and like you don't!"

--

Neross : ...well...there you go. HAPPY NOW FOOLS?! ...I'm gonna go make some waffles or something. Feel free to leave a review or perish or something...smut is draining ...


	5. Revenge To All

Neross: I will offer no excuses at my lack of DAILY updates. I have been BUSY. My chambers needed to be weeded through and I had four YEARS of mindless JUNK to go through. ...That...and smut is like a giant plug in the BRAIN.

(ahem) And now on to the greatness of chapter five.

Warning : This chapter may contain some more violence and maybe even some death and torture...what? No..that's it. No smut in this one. All you smut-addicts will just have to wait until the NEXT chapter or...something.

Chapter 5 : Revenge To All

--

Dib didn't like to think about what he had done not even two hours ago. He didn't want to acknowledge the fact that the primal hate between him and Zim had become something more. Something that could potentially be much worse that just simple hatred. With a sigh the human tugged on the collar of his new clothing, feeling odd dressed in Irken clothing. He had to hand it to the tiny green aliens though, the clothing was incredibly soft and breathable, and it fit him perfectly despite his protesting. At Zim's request they had dressed him in blue, which Dib guessed was because the alien couldn't stand to have HIS second affiliated with either of the two past Tallest.

Speaking of Purple and Red, Zim had been amazingly merciful to him, probably because somewhere within his green head of evil he still saw them as his leaders and couldn't bear to see them executed. So instead they had been sentenced to live out the rest of their days on Food Courtia, as taste-testers. Apparently this was the best sort of job Red and Purple could have hoped for because they left without complaint and had gone off so quickly Dib was amazed their trail hadn't sparked into flame.

As for Gir, well, it seems Zim had a soft spot in his squiddly-splooch for the tiny hyperactive robot because Zim had simply ordered him to 'stay'. Which, of course, had caused a great deal of confusion but had no doubt pleased the robot as he had then screamed in joy and turned to causing mayhem all over the palace. The place was so big that Zim and Dib didn't see him again until the next day when the robot walked in eating some sort of odd-looking snack food.

The two new Tallest however had gone about the rest of their coronation with a weighted silence between them, though Dib couldn't help but see the happy-glow that had set into his rival and now fellow dictator. Dib was thankful, or perhaps resentful, of the fact that Irken coronations took a very small amount of time and consisted only of greeting the empire for the first time, having their status be reprogramed by the Control Brain, and then sending some unfortunate sap flying into the nearest sun, something Dib had been resistant too but which Zim seemed to think was quite fun. However, once all was said and done the two Tallest retired to their new chambers and to another long set of awkward silence.

At last it was Dib who broke the silence, turning to Zim as the Irken removed his new long red coat, revealing the skin-tight shirt underneath. "So Zim...now what do you have planned? You've got your empire, now what are you going to do?" The teen asked sitting down upon his own bed, thankfully separate from Zim's, and removed his long pointed irken boots.

Zim blinked his large red eyes and seemed to take a moment to think about his answer, placing a clawed hand to his chin in thought. Then, slowly a wicked grin grew upon his face and he turned away from Dib in a slow and teasing way as he replied, "I'm going to Disneyland Dib-stink."

Dib's head shot up at the Earth pop-culture reference and eyed Zim as if he were insane before he finally understood the implications. "...You're going to take over the earth..." the paranormal obsessed teen muttered, his tone horrified.

Zim turned to him as he kicked off his own boots with less care than the alien would have taken when swatting a fly. The irken merely sent Dib a plain and nearly sarcastic sneer as he crossed his arms over his chest. " Did you honestly think I wouldn't go back and take that puny dirt-ball planet you call home?" the alien stated with a roll of his blood-red eyes. "After all the years I, "Zim twitched in disgust, " SUFFERED on your miserable world. The water, the germs, the dreaded MEAT. Not to mention the torture of going through your planet's primitive SKOOL-system. And then there was you..." Zim's grim faded and he simply glared at Dib with all the pent-up anger of ten-long years of torment at the hands of said human, "...I would love nothing more to finally take the earth and show you just how superior I always have been."

Dib glared back and stood, stalking over to Zim with fury, glaring down at the shorter alien like one would glare at someone who had just insulted their mother. "You seem to forget Zim...I'm a Tallest just the same as you. Any order you make to destroy the earth I'll make one to counter it." Dib told him slowly, furiously, wanting it clear that he was still Earth's protector, despite the events of the last few hours.

Zim's glare did not falter, though he did move his arms down to his sides to clench into fists at his sides. "You FILTHY earth scum. Do you still think you can stop me? I WILL take earth...and every disgusting human who has ever caused me even a MOMENT of grief will be dealt with." Then Zim grinned and gripped Dib's chin in a harsh grasp, "Including you...Dib-meat." Then Zim's grin flashed away and he released Dib with a flick of his wrist before turning to walk to his bed.

Dib snarled and grabbed the Irken's shoulder forcing him to turn around and face the taller teen eye-to-eye once more. "You keep forgetting Zim, you NEED me. Without me you don't have an empire to control."

Zim sneered and latched onto Dib's wrist thrusting them away in anger, "You are correct Dib-monkey. Zim does need you alive, but that does NOT mean that Zim needs you healthy or whole."

Dib refused to back down, simply growing more and more infuriated by the irken's words. This time he grabbed the irken by the shirt and lifted him slightly off the ground to get his point across. However, before Dib could say anything a pair of Irken guards burst into the room. Zim shoved Dib away and turned toward them, showering them with his full fury. "How dare you enter the chamber of ZIM...and er.." he paused seeing the glare upon Dib's face, " Zim's illustrious second!"

The guards seemed to wince however after a moment of exchanging glances one spoke up. "My Tallest! The planet is under attack by the resisty. We are awaiting you orders."

Zim and Dib simultaneously rose their eyebrows in question, "The resisty? Who the heck are they?" The two stopped and turned toward each other, though Dib quickly looked away again with a pout and Zim turned with a growl to the guards. " How could ANYONE get passed our defenses. This is IRK we're talking about." Zim snapped.

"A great deal of our forces were out celebrating the coronation my Tallest." the other guard spoke, straightening himself up and saluting.

Zim let out a howl of rage, "Fools! Must Zim do everything himself?! You!" he snapped, turning to Dib who merely scowled at him and refused to look at him directly, "Earth scum! You will come with me to the control chamber. It seems we have some sort of resistance to deal with. "

Dib turned to Zim at last and merely stared down at him coldly, still angry about the irken's earlier words. An explosion could be heard in the background as Zim replied, his tone just as cold, "Because if you do not Dib-slime. This...RESISTY...will kill us both."

The dark-haired teen shut his mouth and followed the Irken as he ran to the control room, which stared out over the entire planet, showing a great panoramic view of Irk as it was being blown apart by some sort of large warship. Irken fighters were swarming the ship, causing damage, but not nearly enough to bring the thing down. With a snarl Zim turned toward the closest guard. "You! Sound the alarms if they haven't been already and get everyone BACK to their stations. And you!" Zim commanded, turning toward another guard on the other side of the room, "Fire what lazers we DO have operational at the ship's engines."

As Zim shouted out orders Dib couldn't help but feel somewhat impressed at how much the alien had improved, or how well he seemed to be able to get things done. Dib assumed it must have been from spending years dealing with a side-kick that just did whatever he wanted no matter what you ordered. Then Dib noticed something about the ship that seemed..familiar. It's design was nearly Irken, but it was also streamlined and although Dib couldn't understand why he continued to have a sense that the ship was familiar. Finally the human voiced his views allowed to his irken rival. "Zim...is it just me...or does that ship seem sort of familiar?"

Zim turned to Dib, his arms still crossed over his chest, the green male rose sent the human a curious look before looking to the ship again. Then, quite suddenly, Zim's eyes rose in shock before lowering into a fury that not only rivaled but over-shadowed that which he had directed at Dib earlier. "It CAN'T be..." he muttered then swiftly turned to the nearest guard once more. "You there! Get me a transmission connection with that ship!"

The irken nodded and quickly tried to establish a connection then at last, without looking up from his station the worker let out a successful cry. "We have a connection, opening up transmission with the flight deck now sir."

Then the huge window before them turned into a screen and instantly both Dib and Zim knew why the ship seemed so familiar, though it was Zim who furiously whispered the leaders name. "...Tak..."

The female irken had not changed in all the years that passed since her time on earth, and although this did not frighten Dib, it did unnerve him. "Hello Zim. Hello...Earth scum." she added cruelly, her purple eyes rounding on Dib, causing a cold shiver to run down his spine.

"That's Tallest now Tak! So if you've come to stage a little rebellion you've come a bit too late." Zim told her gleefully, grinning in triumph.

"Oh I don't think so Zim. I staged this whole thing the moment I heard that YOU'D become Tallest. I refuse to serve a fool such as you, even if you Tallest." She too grinned then and leaned back in her pilot's chair to study her nails. "You weren't as good an invader as I was. And I doubt you'd EVER be able to run the empire properly. So I'm here to give it back to it's PROPER leaders."

Zim growled furiously, though it was Dib that spoke up next, "This is treason Tak. No matter how you spin it you won't be able to escape this one."

The irken Tallest stared at his human counterpart in surprise before grinning like a proud friend and turning back toward the female Irken. "By order of the Tallest you are to land your ship and submit to questioning before facing your punishment. Surrender now and Zim and his Glorious Second will only send you to work as a food drone."

Tak glared at first one then the other let out a hiss of rage. "Order me around all you like Zim. You are no leader...and you never will be." Then the transmission ended and the control room was left in silence, save the occasional sound of an explosion in the background. Then after a moment Dib let out a nervous sort of laugh and scratched the back of his head, "So uh...I see what you meant about the females..."

Zim turned to him, seeming just as nervous and uneasy as the human at their now mutual dislike for someone ELSE. " Yes well...Tak always has been a pain in my side." Zim muttered in agreement, not sure what to say. Then with a growl, as yet another explosion rocked in the background, the Irken turned to the guards still frantically active at their posts. "Why aren't those engines DOWN yet?! I want that ship blown out of the sky as soon as possible do you hear me?!" A collective 'yes sir' was given in response to Zim's command and the action seemed almost instantaneous. A giant blast rocked the entire palace as one of the Resisty's engines exploded, the other one catching fire soon afterwards.

Dib could hardly believe that Zim had gotten so good and finding weaknesses, though he supposed after years of battle against one another the two were bound to improve one another skills, even if they were horrible to start with. And then all compliments Dib would have said out loud flew out the window...literally... as the Resisty's ship came crash-landing straight toward them. In the moment before the impact Dib felt something collide with him, bringing him out of the range of the flying debris and destruction that was caused by the Resisty's ship ramming into the palace's control room.

For a second, nothing seemed to happen then Dib opened his eyes and registered that the lights had gone out, and that portions of the building were skewed this way and that. All of the guards who had been on the lower levels of the control room were dead, Dib could see their prone bodies lying hither and dither as if they had been dolls tossed around by a child throwing a tantrum. It was this line of thinking that brought Dib's mind to Zim. Zim! Where was he? Did he survive? Was he injured? Was he in pain? Dib felt his heart lurch and was confused by it, however, a groan at his side stopped him from questioning his own thought process.

Dib turned his head to meet his one and only Rival face to face. Despite himself the bespectacled teen let out a sigh of relief and shot upwards, immediately turning his attention to the groaning alien. "Zim! You're alive! Are you alright? Are you injured?" Dib asked gently shaking the irken's shoulder. Zim let out a hiss and swatted away Dib's hand sitting up and opening his dark red eyes to glare weakly at the human, rubbing his sore head. "Zim is fine. No thanks to YOU Dib-stink. Zim cannot believe you did not jump out of the way. If it hadn't been for ZIM'S quick thinking your giant head would be smashed stupid earth-pig." the green alien snapped, though he seemed less angry than simply annoyed and...something else that Dib didn't really want to think about either. Zim also sounded worried.

"You were the one who knocked me out of the way?" Dib asked incredulously.

"Of course it was me you stupid worm-baby. And Zim's great and mighty head was injured thanks to you. Now get off! I must see if that traitor TAK is still alive." Zim said flippantly, his tone sarcastic.

Dib merely smiled and gingerly untangled himself from the smaller male and stood, extending his hand to help Zim up. Zim stared at the fleshy hand offered to him for a moment before looking Dib in the eye. Something transfered between them, nearly the same as what had happened to them on Zim's ship, and then again in the crowning chamber, only deeper and with more meaning. Then, at last, Zim took Dib's hand and allowed himself to be hauled to his feet. The irken ruler took a moment to dust himself off before he turned his attention to the ship which was promptly lodged into the control room. Zim glared at it as he had glared at Dib in the past when he had managed to sneak into his base and then stalked towards it with all the anger and authority he possessed, Dib following at his heels.

The two Tallest climbed carefully into the ship, facing much the same death and destruction as they had in the control room, though every now and again they would happen upon a Resisty member who was still living, though in serious pain and in no state to fight back. Zim walked past these sad instances as if he did not see them though Dib was not so lucky. He could not help but feel pity for these creatures as they begged and pleaded for the pain to end. Yet still they walked on, until at last Zim came to the captain's pilot chair, where a heavily injured but still conscious Tak sat, blood pooling from her mouth down her chin. And despite the pain she must have been in the tiny irken female still grinned triumphantly. Dib almost pitied her.

"Hello...Zim." Tak wheezed out as said irken male came to stand over her, her purple eyes following him only. Zim merely glared down at him, his mouth tight and disapproving. "I don't regret my actions Zim. I don't believe you are fit to be Tallest. You may have won against me...but the Resisty will continue to exist without me...and now ...they'll be joined by your enemies Zim. They'll destroy you and your so called second!" Then Tak let out a short laugh before choking on the end of it as if she had been trying to eat something and talk at the same time and had it go down wrong. It sounded more sickly to Dib, like her lungs were drowning in her own blueish blood.

Zim waited until she was quiet once more before he grinned evilly and leaned over her, sneering straight into her face with a look that sent shivers down Dib's spine. Then in a cold, amused, and quiet voice Zim spoke to her, "Zim would like to see them try...then Zim can at last have his own vengeance on the fools how dared to stand in his way. "

Tak's eyes widened as if, for the first time, she understood that Zim was no longer the idiot she had once believed him to be. Then she coughed once more and winced in pain. Zim smiled at this and leaned placed an arm on either side of the much smaller irken leaning down until he was mere inches from her face. "Do you want the pain to stop Tak?" Dib asked her, his tone and expression begging her to say 'yes', like a kid who knows the end result of a cruel joke.

Tak merely stared at him with resolute eyes. "This pain is nothing to an invader of my skill." she told him defiantly, though her voice was weak.

Zim smirked and his pak legs unfurled all at once, each end sparking with electricity. "Good...because Zim needs you to tell him all about the Resisty and their foolish leader who would oppose the almighty TALLEST." Zim spoke the last word so clearly, so full of inclination that Dib jumped in place, knowing that the ego-maniac was, for once, not talking about just himself, but Dib as well.

Then, all at once Zim plunged the tips of his pak legs into Tak. Her screams of pain would echo forever in Dib's mind. And from that point onward he would recall that night with both fear and resentment.

--

Neross:...What? I'm evil...you didn't know this? HA! You are more foolish than I thought puny earth-scum.

I did warn you. Stay tuned for more smex in the almighty Chapter SIX!


	6. Invasion of the Idiot ReproductiveOrgans

Neross: Blah. I have been much busy and er...blockaged. ...yeah just shut up. I'm updating now aren't I?

...

Yeah well screw you too buddy!

warning: This chapter will contain violence, kinky sex, and possibly some mentions of torture...maybe even a little secret surprise there at the end. BUT I'M NOT TELLING SO HA!

Chapter Six : Invasion of the Idiot Reproductive Organs

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The morning following the resisty invasion Dib found himself staring out at the thousands of irken slaves cleaning up after the wreckage with amazing efficiency. Dib had to hand it to the Irken Empire they certainly knew had to get things done both quickly and cheaply. Still, it didn't make it any easier to swallow the fact that the creatures doing the actual work weren't irkens themselves (though there were some helping with the clean up ) but other species of aliens that the Irkens had enslaved. Planets that had been taken over and brought into submission. It brought into strake realization just would happen to the earth once Zim had had his way. The thought left a sour taste in the back of Dib's mouth.

He didn't like, even more so now that Zim had actually risked his life to save him, evil little irken bastard that he was. There were so many arguments going on in his enormous hippo-sized head that he didn't hear Zim come up behind him until the shorter green alien was standing directly beside him. Dib jumped when at last he turned slightly to see the alien and let out a sharp squeal of surprise. Zim grinned triumphantly and Dib frowned in response. "What do you want Zim?" Dib asked snidely.

Zim merely grinned and shrugged," Don't be so self-centered Dib, I didn't come back for you. I came back to relax after a promising day of torture. Are you enjoying the sites." Dib glared at the alien and clenched his fists at his sides. "I'd enjoy it more if I didn't have to witness the way your people enslave the races they conquer."

Zim merely waved the comment off and turned to the window himself, "Don't be an idiot Dib. Slavery is simply a good way of keeping the empire under control and providing the empire with cheap labor. It allows us to spend money on more important things...like weapons and donuts. " Dib merely stared at the alien blankly as if discovering how evil he was for the first time. "That's...that's..horrible."

Zim grinned and turned back to him, "Yes. I know." he replied pleased. Dib shook his head in exasperation. "You know what Zim. The empire DESERVES to be rebelled against. The way you treat your 'subjects' is nothing short of inhuman and...and the way you get information is even worse."

Zim's smile fell and he turned to Dib with a furious glare. With a growl he pushed Dib violently and then began to snarl at him " Of course we are inHUMAN...we are Irkens! What may seem strange to you is the way we have lived for eons! And how dare you act superior to us irkens when your race tortures as well! Your races entire sordid history is filled with exploitation of it's own ngh...PEOPLE. We IRKENS do not enslave our own so don't you DARE act as if you are morally superior to ZIM!"

Dib looked at Zim in a mixture of mortification and anger and pushed the alien back. "Your people enslave planets for no good reason!" Zim shoved him forward, forcing the human to fall back onto Zim's bed. "Your people enforce public transportation! " Dib hesitated and rose an eyebrow. "That...that's not really a bad thing."

"You're Lying!" Zim shouted, diving on top of Dib without a second warning. There was a tussle upon the bed with each male shouting insults to other, though no true blows were thrown.

"Filthy human!"

"Slaver!"

"Ignorant Dib beast!"

"Idiot Irken!"

"Large headed worm baby!"

"Self-obsorbed prick!"

The argument went on for a while. Until at last the two lay panting, Zim ontop of Dib. Both were glaring respectively, though neither were glaring at the other anymore. Dib lay glaring up at the ceiling while Zim glared at the opposite wall. Then at last Zim propped himself over Dib and glared down at him, Dib returning the favor. "You mated with me..." the irken growled. And for once Dib was confused as to whether or not the alien was insulting him or merely stating a fact. However he forced his glare to remain, "You shoved a metal leg into me. I think we're even."

Zim hissed and leaned in to Dib with a sneer. "Zim risked his superior form to save you human stink creature."

Dib blinked in surprise, it amazed him that Zim seemed to remember or even care about that random moment. And it was in that hesitation that allowed Zim to let out his frustration by flinging Dib off the bed so that the Irken could bury his head into his new bed in peace. The dark-haired teen growled in annoyance and took his revenge by kicking said annoyance off of his royal bed. There was a 'thump' and a general sound of both irritation and pain before Zim was on his feet again. Dib stood as well and another glare fest began, though there was less heat behind it then before.

"Stoopid human..." Zim muttered.

"Crazy idiot irken. " Dib murmured back.

The two stood in silence for a while, neither one quite willing to let go of their frustration, nor willing to start yet another fight while there were bruises still healing.

Then that feeling that had hit them on Zim's ship and again in the crowning chamber, hit them again, stronger than before. It stirred up a sort of awkward fumble where Dib, in his rush to make the feeling go away, leaped over the bed to pin Zim to the floor, crushing their lips together desperately, not wanting to think about it more than that one moment.

The Irken himself groaned into the kiss, with a mixture want and disappointment. With fervor the two pulled themselves up, never breaking the flaming contact of lip to lip, tongue to teeth. With a growing, primal, need Zim turned Dib around and with the use of his pak legs, pinned him to the wall. Forget the bed...forget the clothes, the alien no longer cared. One green, clawed hand, found a way up to touch and scrap, and grasp at pale skin, making the human against the wall moan in passion.

Zim could hardly feel himself as he pulled away the human's pants and underwear, though the irken symbol upon the boxers made him crack a smile. To his surprise Dib smiled back, though it was softer than the alien's which was more like a superior smirk than a sincere smile.

Zim preferred it when the human was glaring at him, losers don't smile, they bow down at the glory of the victorious. Zim was always victorious...he didn't like it that the Dib was daring to smile as if he had won something.

So the alien smiled back just as sweetly and kissed the human tenderly, he even allowed the human to open the fly to his own pair of black pants. Then, when the human started to lean over him, as if Zim would just submit to his will, Zim pushed him against the wall and jammed two bright green claws into Dib's warm, moist, mouth. The human was caught by surprise and pushed the alien back, wiping away at his mouth with the back of his sleeve. "Zim just what the hell was-?!"

But Dib never got to finish his angry query as Zim's mechanical legs hoisted him off his feet and upwards, his back against the wall. The action forced the wind out of the bespectacled - teen. Zim gave no mercy, not even waiting for Dib to catch his breath before plunging a still-wet claw into Dib's awaiting entrance. The human cried out in pain and swore, grabbing onto Zim's shoulders to try and force him away despite the powerful robotic appendages which stuck him to the wall like glue and held him there.

Zim wiggled the claw he had forced in, this way and that, forcing out sounds of both pleasure and pain from the male he had pinned. The alien smiled up at his prey, happy to see that the smile at least was gone. The irken took this chance to study his counterpart, something he had never really had a chance to do on earth. Mostly because during those PUTRID and STINKY gym classes, Zim had made sure to avoid the showers as much as possible. He found Dib's erect breeding piece to be quite...fascinating. So much so that an idea formed inside his wicked little green head, even as he played with the opening and chest.

Zim knelt before Dib and curiously laid a hand upon Dib's manhood, forcing the human's eyes to shoot open, and then down. Staring at Zim in mixed euphoria and horror. Zim LIKED that look. So the alien leaned forward and, with all the speed of a slug, let his long, thin tongue snake from base to tip of Dib's throbbing member. Dib whined pathetically, biting his lip to keep back the sounds that wanted to escape. The irken on his knees before him, one green clawed hand playing with his cock, the other fiddling around inside him, grinned sadistically and wrapped his tongue around the human's pink and fleshy rod like a serpent, slithering first this way, than that.

Dib couldn't help the primal shout that grew from that feeling and his weeping dick answered in kind, growing so close, but never close enough to go over the edge of release. The human was sure that Zim was torturing him. "Zim...Zim please...stop...just...just stop!" Dib cried, hardly able to formulate a sentence in his addle-brained mind. Said alien grinned with his zipper-like teeth. "Stop what?" he asked innocently, inserting yet another claw at the same time as he wrapped his entire mouth around the head of Dib's other self. Dib choked and moaned helplessly though he gritted his teeth and glared down at the man...no...alien performing the sweet torture upon him. "That! Please stop doing that!" Dib snapped, trying to thrash despite the metal legs standing in his way. "Stop teasing me...ple...please!" Dib stuttered out the last as white dots danced before his eyes due to those sweet green claws dancing across his prostate.

Zim smiled victoriously and moved his mouth away drawing himself up Dib's eye-level once more. With not even a snap of his green finger's Dib found his legs suspended in the air, his arms clasped together above his head, and Zim was hovering over him, a new experience for the human to be sure. "Of course...tallest Dib...anything for you." Zim whispered, his tone both dangerous and smooth, reminding Dib very much of an old story about a snake, an apple, and a woman.

However, Dib forgot all about the story the second he felt that odd, throbbing, irken member thrust inside of him. It wasn't human, that much was quite easy to tell, but at the moment Dib didn't really care as those wonderful white dots were dancing before his eyes again. The raven-haired teen screamed out in pleasure as the alien inside him groaned. Zim thrust into him again and again without much mercy, moving at a pace that was both fast and powerful. It left the membrane boy without a single thought except for how good he felt.

Then, at last, Dib fell over the precipice and came, Zim following not long after. They crumbled to the floor in a heap, Zim's pak legs retreating in an instant that had them crashing upon each other unceremoniously. Nether cared, though Dib did let out a slight grunt of irritation. The two lay together, limbs intertwined haphazardly, staring up at the ceiling much as they had just after their fight. Tired, annoyed, and confused.

It wasn't until they both heard a familiar hyperactive squeel headed in their direction that either one of them dared to move. And then, the movement to recover discarded clothing was so quick that one could swear they were trying to escape from a fire. Dib was still trying to put on his pants when the tiny little SIR unit Gir burst through the door with a mad grin, holding what looked like a tray of muffins.

"Ah made muffins!" Gir exclaimed, which only caused to Dib to raise an eyebrow as he continued to try and pull up his pants as Zim went to go handle the tiny little robot.

"Gir! I am Tallest now, you should announce yourself before you enter Zim's chambers." Zim scolded his old companion, though he did not truly seem too mad. Dib however seemed a bit put off at having Zim ignore the fact that he was living in the 'chambers' as well. "Where have you been Gir?" Zim asked, this time truly seeming curious as to know what the defective SIR unit had been up to.

"Ah went to da CLONING room." Gir replied happily. Zim seemed to freeze, as if he could foresee where the robot was going with his explanation. "Gir...please tell me you didn't abuse the tallest DNA samples." Zim told him, his voice sounding more nervous than Dib could actually remember. And as the human zipped up his fly he began to understand why when the robot continued on with his little story of his antics. "Nooo...but I did make a babah! It's got your eyes," Gir said happily, pointing directly at Zim.

Dib was about to laugh, finding it hilarious that Zim had suddenly become a parent, until Gir pointed at him as well. "And your giant head. Its sooo cute! Wanna see?!"

Dib was pretty sure he heard his sister in the back of his head mocking him.

_'Good job genius...your kid's even more hideous than you.'_

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Neross: Well...there you go. I've written you smut...and I've (sort-of) given you a m-preg...hate it or love it's there...or IS IT?! I'll never tell...

REVIEW OR FACE MY WRATH! My sick germy wrath.


	7. Let's Eat it's Eyes

Neross: Let it be known that when I rule the world Time Warner Cable will be the first to die. Yes, you heard me. Damn bastards try telling me my laptop won't connect to the internet because I was connecting to my NEIGHBORS wireless network. BULL. SHIT!! I shall tear out those marauding tech-support's EYEBALLS and use them to garnish my martini.

*ahem* Yes well...now that that is over...now you know why I haven't updated. Anyway...thank you much for the reviews and such.....GIVE ME GIFT-BASKETS!!!

Warning: This chapter may contain grotesque imagery and violence. Oh yes....and possibly rape.....it all depends on my mood soooo....maybe...MAYBE...

Chapter Seven : Let's eat it's eyes.

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Zim didn't want to think about what he was looking at. Who would? The thing was hideous, repulsive, utterly and completely disgusting. The...er....larvae....which had spawned from his SUPERIOR genes, as well as Dib's INFERIOR ones, was just floating there, taunting him, with it's....DISGUSTING appearance. Like any irken child the clone was growing inside of a tube, already at the size of a human toddler sack-child, it's tiny four-clawed hands continued o slowly grasp and unclench, as if dreaming. It's feet, unlike irken feet, held four toes instead of three.

There were several other notable difference which were clearly visible simply by taking a good look at the suspended clone. It's skin was a pale mixture of pink and green, almost as if the child couldn't make up it's mind while it was still being developed. It's ears were very small and slightly pointed at the tips. Ontop of it's very large head was a small pair of antennae which curled just slightly at the ends, but only slightly. And atop it's head was a small tuft of curly black hair. There was also something else about it which had Zim not only disgusted, but furious as well. It was female.

"I think it's sort of cute..." a voice stated behind him.

Zim turned with an annoyed glare toward the other parent in this odd pair. Dib. The human was smiling again, eyeing the combined product of their genes. With an irritated snort Zim turned to the cause of all of this mess. "Gir! Why on earth is this ....half-breed....female?" Zim asked, tripping over the last word like a painful memory. The little robot smiled stupidly and pointed at Dib who simply raised an eyebrow. "How is it being female MY fault?"

Zim turned to Dib with a glare, now that understanding the anomaly had been made quite clear, "Because irkens do not carry the genes for female parts. Females are random anomalies which happen once in a batch of every few hundred. And that is only because the computer starts out with an exuberant amount of 'x' genes in order to fill the demand for 'x' chromosomes needed to make a proper male irken."

Dib blinked, and then scratched the back of his head, suddenly reminded of the bun to hot-dog ratio problem. "Oh so...your species doesn't...." Dib left the rest hanging. The alien rolled his eyes and turned his eyes back to the tiny creation of their DNA. "No...generally we do not. Only the Tallest and those programed for such activities may mate. Invaders are programed with the ability to mate only because there may be moment where coupling with a species will serve to hide us or observe them better."

Dib nodded absently and then turned back to look at his child as well. It felt odd saying that. He had never expected to have kids....let alone one with an aline...or another male. The whole thing was a little creepy. He was just glad this wasn't like one of those horrible fanfictions where guys could wind up PREGNANT. After all it just wasn't physically possible....or ....well...not that was about it...thoug the idea was also sort of disturbing on a deep dark level of Dib's soul. And it was about this time that the human noticed Gir and Zim fighting over a remote control. "Erg...no Gir! Stop it! Hand over the incubating control!" Zim was grunting out.

Gir whined and pulled back harder, wrestling the remote free from his irken master. "Nuh-uh! I wanna play with the cute babeh!" Seeing Gir's path of movement Dib merely stuck out a leg and tripped the robot before picking up the remote himself. He was just studying it for a moment when suddenly he found a gloved hand upon his own, tugging at him. "Give it back Dib-human. I must get rid of this atrocity before it's too late." Zim ordered furiously. Dib raised the remote up over Zim's head. "No way!" he proclaimed, "I'm not letting you kill it just because you don't like it!" Dib ground-out back. Then, as the two fought over the remote there was a resounding beep and a metal arm reach out of the ceiling to grab the tube holding their combined clone.

Zim visibly paled and Dib stared on in shack as their clone-child was ruthlessly plopped down onto the bare floor, the robotic arm shocking it's back before attaching an irken pak on it's back. Then the arm was gone and both human and irken stared in mixed shock and awe at the tiny little thing. The child shook it's head and looked up straight at them, it's eyes indeed like Zim's, large and red, though it had a nose like Dib and a thin pinkish-green line of a mouth which stared up at them in much the same way they stared at it.

Then, in an instant, Zim found that the tiny thin was clutching onto his leg. "I love you momma!" A tiny voice muttered. Zim blanched, remembering his own birth and claim of love for an unfeeling metal arm. Zim let out a sigh of irritation and reached down to pick the naked half-irken child up to hold it aloft in his arms. Gir giggled madly, " Aww...it's so cute! ....LET'S EAT IT'S EYES!" he proclaimed. Zim glared at the robot, "No Gir! Zim Two is not for eating."

Dib blinked in mixed confusion and indignation. "Zim two? A moment ago you didn't even want to keep her."

Zim turned and shrugged, "There is no use eliminating our worm-baby now. We might as well raise it. Besides, anything formed of MY superior genes is worth keeping around. Isn't that right Zim Two?"

The child merely cocked an eyebrow at Zim and turned toward Dib. "I want other mommy to hold me now..." it stated simply, attempting to crawl over Zim's shoulder to get to Dib. Dib laughed and Zim merely scowled and jostled the child back into place.

"I say we call her...Zib." Dib said after awhile, wiggling a finger at his and Zim's newest bundle of joy. Zim raised an eyebrow. "ZIB?! What sort of PUTRID name is THAT?!" Zim asked with an annoyed twitch to his eye.

Dib merely gave him an exasperated grimace, "It's our names combined...idiot..." Dib commented. Zim blinked blankly and then glared at Dib and turned away from him as if to shield the girl. "Of...of COURSE Zim knew this. You did not need to tell him."

Dib merely rolled his eyes and leaned over Zim's shoulder to smile down at the child. "How about it? Want to be Zib?" the human asked.

The half-breed girl smiled and grabbed a lock of Dib's hair with her tiny clawed hand and grinned with oddly pointed teeth, "I like it! Call me Zib! Zib is almighty! Zib will conquer.....stuff!" she proclaimed. Dib paled and sent a worried look toward Zim who merely grinned victoriously.

Dib let out an irritated sound and pulled his hair out of the child's grasp. "Well...at least we know she has your desire to conquer worlds and enslave their inhabitants." Zib blinked and turned to pulling on Zim's antennae. Zim growled in irritation and attempted to back his thin black appendage. "Yes...and it seems she has your knack for annoying me. Stop that now." the last was directed at their offspring as he wrested his antennae back from it. "Hopefully they'll be able to weed that out of her on the invader training world."

Dib felt his heart stop. "You're....sending her to training already?"

Zim looked up at Dib with a bland look that seemed to question the human's judgment. "Of course. That is how we were able to develop the empire we have today. Our irken soldiers are the most well trained in the universe. Why would I not send her immediately?"

Dib glared at the alien. "Because she's still just a toddler. She's not old enough to go through invader training."

Zim glared back at Dib,"And where do YOU suppose we send her? Back to EARTH To be raised by your insidious SKOOL system? Bah! Your inferior teaching methods pale in comparison to irken teaching methods."

Dib's eye twitched in frustration, "Well at least our methods don't involve grueling training which might get her killed."

"LIES! You know nothing of our methods!" Zim proclaimed, pointing at Dib accusingly. "And even if we WERE to send her back to you pitiful world, how well do you think she'll be able to blend into your pathetic culture without being trained in the ways of stealth and integration?"

Dib hesitated and looked as if he was about to retort when the palace shook, throwing both Tallest around, forcing them to fight to keep their footing. "Please tell me that was an earthquake." Dib muttered allowed.

"Impossible..." Zim ground out seriously, a look of anger and serious worry upon his face. "...we have since eliminated such events as plate shifting." Zim commented. The irken gently set his daughter down, handing her over to the tiny SIR unit who produced a toy moose for the toddler, amusing her greatly. "GIR! Watch over Zib. I must investigate this...disturbance. Come Dib-stink."

Dib nodded and ruffled the child's hair as both Tallest headed for the door. "Be good Zib. Make sure nothing happens to her Gir."

Gir gave an obedient 'Yes Sir!' and saluted him before returning to playing with the child.

Dib and Zim hurried down the hallways of the irken palace, each one expecting the worse. Tiny piece of debris began to fall from the ceiling as the palace shook once more. As the human and irken made their way toward the control room the sounds of shouting and panicked screams became more clear.

They never made it to the control room however. There was another, much stronger, tremor and then a large explosion racked the hallway just before them, blowing it apart. Both Tallest were thrown backwards from the blast. Dib coughed and gripped his head against the ringing in his ears. The human strained his eyes to see through the dust, smoke, and debris as several silhouettes became just visible through the large hold that had been ripped through the hallway wall. Beside him Dib could feel Zim stirring though barely. As he turned to shake the alien awake he felt someone lift him up and away.

Dib turned on his assailant, fist raised and stopped when he recognized who it was he was facing. "Mr. Dwicky?!" Dib exclaimed, confused and shocked, his fist lowering. "What....what are you doing here?" Dib asked.

Dwicky stared in awe at Dib for a moment before smiling, much in the way he had when Dib had first walked into his office years ago. In fact the SKOOL councilor had barely changed at all, even his white shirt tie and formal black pants had managed to remain the same in the years since Dib had seen him vanish upon an alien craft. "I'm here as a part of the Resisty to help take down the evil irken empire. Now...you should probably come with me Dib."

Dib blinked in surprise and shook his arm free from Dwicky's hold. "I'm sorry Dwicky but there's something you should know..." Dib let out a sigh and held out his hands as if explaining something difficult. "I'm one of the irken Tallest now. I CAN'T go with you. I fI leave now..." Dib stopped. Why DIDN'T he want to go. He couldn't think of a reason why. Except ....there was Zim, and Zib...and Gir...and well...mostly Zim. After all, he had spent so much of his life trying to take the alien down. In some odd way he still had a connection to the idiotic irken, even now.

Dwicky didn't wait for him to finish his sentence however. "Oh I know who you are now Dib. That's why I need you to come with me."

Dib stared at the other human blankly, more confused than ever. "You know? But...then...why-?"

Once again Dib's sentence remained unfinished as Dwicky swiftly placed a tazer to Dib's sternum. The shock that ripped through him was just enough to have him effectively pass out in the once-conselour's arms. "Well that was rather easy."

The human became stock-still however as he heard the soft-whirring of a lazer at his ear. He turned slowly to see Zim holding a lazer to his head, glaring at him with more ferocity than he had glared down Tak with. "I don't think so. Drop the putrid Dib-boy now. He belongs to Zim! And you are not permitted to touch Zim's property."

Dwicky smiled oddly at the weapon pointed at his head, cocking his head slightly as he did. With a slow movement Dwicky let Dib go, letting him fall to the floor with a loud thunk. "Hello there Zim! Great to see you again. I must admit I was surprised when I heard of you both out here. Almost as surprised as that day I learned that aliens were real. Almost."

"Stop your spouting pathetic earth slime. I do not need you yapping as I melt your head." Zim ground out, fingering the lazer's trigger a little harder, the whirring sound growing a bit louder as a red light began to form at the end of the weapon's barrel.

"Of course." Dwicky stated, before making a swift movement which knocked the lazer out of Zim's hand. Then, within a blink of an eye Dwicky had Zim pinned to the wall, crushing Zim's pak into the wall with such force that it cracked from the pressure, pieces of it breaking off to the floor below. "You know...I heard that irkens were quite passionate lovers. I wonder Zim...just how passionate are you with your human partner?" Dwicky muttered, his smile becoming odd with it's creepy sort of psychotic glee.

Zim merely glared back defiantly, "That's none of your business human waste."

Dwickly merely raised an eyebrow and grinned before running a hand under Zim's shirt across his lean, green chest. The irken let out a hiss of both pleasure, distaste, and anger. "What do you think you're doing earth sludge?!" Zim snarled furiously as the older human nibbled on Zim's neck.

"Well...back on earth I'm sure it would be called pedophilia...amongst other things, but out here in space," Dwicky swiftly tugged down the irken's pants and underwear in one quick move, "it can be anything I want." he finished. Zim's eyes widened in shock and then lowered in fury. "You human piece of SHIT! Don't you DARE touch Zim's superior form!" The irken fought furiously to free himself, but found himself at a disadvantage against this human who was no taller than himself. It infuriated him to know he had been over-powered by someone shorter than the Dib-human. No...it infuriated him that this human would attempt to over-power him PERIOD.

Despite Zim's struggles the dark-haired human managed to snag one of Zim's antennae, which he chewed and suckled harshly, sending waves of pleasure, pain, and revulsion through Zim's body. "Stop ...that....my-my leggu...stop..." Zim moaned out, finding it hard to fight against the intense pleasure such a motion caused, no matter how disgusted he was at himself for finding any pleasure in the action at all.

"What's the matter Zim? Does Dib not know to stimulate these?" Dwicky punctuated his question by biting down hard on said appendage, causing Zim to howl in pain, "So sad that you do not have a partner who can please you oh mighty Tallest."

Zim growled lowly and pointedly sent a death-glare at Dwicky. "As if you could! You are pathetic when compared to the Dib human. He is far superior to you...pitiful earth rapist."

Dwicky, at long last, glared back and let Zim's antennae go. Instead the human moved to unlatch his own belt, pulling down his pants to reveal his throbbing manhood. Zim struggled once more, screaming profanities in both irken and english. Making it quite clear what he though of Dwicky and his 'pride'.

"You slobbering piece of earth trash! Keep your impotent human organs away from Zim! Coward! BASTARD! You piece of shit HU-man! You are not fit to lick the slime from Zim's-!" But Zim's ranting was cut off as Dwicky shoved his dick forcefully into the irken's opening with little mercy. Zim let out a sound, very much like one chocking before snarling and glaring at the human through his tears.

"I will maim and slaughter you for this..." Zim snarled quietly, his breath caught short by the pain and pure disgust he felt as Dwicky pounded into him.

"You're not really in a position to do anything Zim." Dwicky ground out, sounding nearly giddy.

"He may not be. But I am." cam a voice from behind them both as a visible shock of electricity ripped through the ex-consellor's body. With a harsh hissing sound Dwicky crumpled to the ground, still twitching from the voltage that had run through his spinal chord. Zim took to his feet unsteadily and stared up at his savior merely with tired red eyes. Dib looked back with much the same expression, either one wishing to comment on what had just taken place.

Instead the two leaned on each other and limped their way through the wreckage until the irken guards were finally able to locate them and help them to the healing wing.

Unfortunately for them all, Dwicky had managed to escape. Though Zim himself signed the order begging for the man's death and Dib wasn't so sure he blamed him this time. Neither one mentioned what had happened to the irken tallest to the medical crew or the guards. Nor anyone else for that matter. Somehow they had both come to the conclusion that such things were best left unmentioned and un-talked about. It had become quite clear to them both that a new plateau in their 'relationship' had been reached and both human and irken had no clue how to approach it without something breaking in the process.

Zib and Gir in the meantime went on harassing the medical crew who simply had no idea how to deal with the hyperactive robot and an inquisitive irken/human hybrid, though the census generally was that she should be give a muzzle in order to prevent her from biting the ankles, legs, and other reachable appendages of any irken who came close.

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Neross: ....what? I'm a horrible person...you should be used to this by now. And remember I said they're might be rape. I like living up to expectations. .....Alright so not really....

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You're all going to hurt me terribly aren't you?

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I'm going to run away screaming in terror now.


	8. Return of the game slaver

Neross: And you thought I wouldn't update. Well HA! Showed you didn't I! ....Yeah well screw you too I'm too tried to take crap from you...also I might have gone slightly insane. But HEY all the better to write ZADR with right?! XD

Warning: This chapter may contain violence and smexing....it depends on where the hell I'm going with this...oh yeah..and foul language. Did I forget to mention that again?

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Two days. It had been two long, demanding days, since the attack on the capital and Zim and Dib's run in with Dwicky and still neither one had discussed what had happened or what they were going to do about they're er....offspring. Though Gir seemed to be doing an excellent job of taking care of the young smeet. Finally, as the two tallest prepared to sleep after the third night of not speaking Dib finally broke down and killed the silence. Killed it dead.

"Zim...shouldn't we talk about what happened?" Dib asked, staring at the irken as he pulled off his shirt. Zim paused in the action and looked at Dib one eye lifting as the other lowered in a sort of eyebrow raise in irken terms. Then the alien blinked and shrugged the shirt away. "What is there to talk about dib-stink? Zib will be sent for training to be an invader. Perhaps after she has become a killing machine we can send her to Earth to infiltrate and destroy it."

Dib stared at Zim for a moment before sputtering stupidly. "Wha-? No! That's not-! We are NOT sending Zib to destroy the earth! AND YOU'RE AVOIDING THE REAL SUBJECT!" Dib proclaimed pointing at Zim with a glare.

Zim grinned and swept Dib's finger away before taking on a superior and smug look. "I thought your species knew that it was rude to point."

Dib's arm fell limply at his side as he effectively glared at the irken. " Can we just talk about what happened and stop getting off subject?"

Zim placed his hands on his hips and glared at Dib. "About what? That pathetic attempt on Zim's life? Or the pathetic attempt to humiliate Zim by forcing the mate rituals upon him? Because both were completely stoopid."

Dib's jaw dropped visibly. "Dwicky tried to rape you! How can you be okay with that?"

Zim looked annoyed and pointed to his antennae. "Because ZIM is not a pathetic worm-beast who associates the mating rituals with social stigmas. Honestly you humans are so primitive."

Dib blinked and stared at Zim for so long that the alien stared at him, called out to him, waved a hand in front of his face and finally groped him without any reaction. Shrugging and giving up Zim sat on his bed and peeled off his boots when at last Dib seemed to snap out of it.

"So you're not upset about it. At all."

"Well Zim IS going to slaughter the Dwicky beast for thinking he could do such a thing to the almighty ZIM and not expect punishment. Oh what punishment will I inflict!" Zim cackled at this raising a clawed hand in glory before stopping abruptly and turning to taking off his boots. "And besides. Zim attracts all the squishy earth males."

Dib blinked again. This was not happening. No...no it was. Dib decided to ignore it though. So he sighed and ran a hand through his hair and turned away to go back to taking off his own clothes. "Okay ...whatever. I'm going to sleep before you start to actually make sense."

"Oh and like anything that spills out of your pork-hole isn't insane?" Zim bit back, tossing his boot at Dib as the human sat on his bed.

Dib turned with a glare at Zim and hurriedly pulled off his own shoe to chuck at Zim who merely rolled across the bed and laughed at Dib's measly attempt, only to get smacked in the face by Dib's OTHER shoe. This time it was the human who burst out laughing as Zim glared in irritation. And then Zim flung himself across the room to knock Dib to the ground. The two rolled, and finally settled near the wall. They lied there for a moment before Dib burst out laughing again and Zim glared and ordered him to quit.

Dib, in response, reached up and tickled Zim and sent the irken alien into a giggle fit of his own until, out of desperation, Zim pinned Dib to the floor. The two sat staring at each other, both on the verge of laughing again, until suddenly they were kissing. Neither one caring who started it. In their fight for supremacy they wound up facing each other, both lying on their sides, neither one on top. A groping hand there, a searching one there, both creating a sweet friction that held no sense of that violence from before.

And then Dib pulled away, reminded of Zim's words, and forced the alien to stay at arm's length as the raven-haired teen stared him down. "If sex is nothing more than a mating ritual to you....then what about the times we've done it?" Dib asked, suspicious. Zim's antennae twitched in annoyance, and his face settled into a pout.

"I fail to see how that is important enough to interrupt our current mating session." Zim put blandly, reaching for Dib, managing only to wrap his arms around Dib's waist, unable to pull him any closer, despite his best efforts.

"I'm not going any further until you tell me."

Zim sighed, rolled his red eyes and then gritted his teeth in acceptance. "Oh fine Dib stink if you MUST know. The first time was because of necessity. Which should be obvious. " Dib nodded in agreement. "The second was because you were looking too damn superior after Zim risked his neck to save you." Dib glared at this and grabbed the front of Zim's pants since his shirt was currently MIA. "What the hell do you mean-?!" But Dib didn't get to finish as Zim closed the distance and forced the human to give in to a kiss. "You humans link too many emotions to your mating. If Zim feels like mating then Zim with make with the mating. If he doesn't and someone else does then that is not Zim's fault and Zim will simply EVISCERATE the fool who dared to try with the mating. That simple. I do not understand why you HU-mans always associate your mating with LURV. Especially when luv is so painful...what with the meat and the bar-b-que sauce." Zim shuddered at the memories of his 'luv adventures' with Tak. He had not enjoyed that one bit.

Dib blinked and then merely rolled his eyes and reached a hand down the back of Zim's pants pulling him closer. "Love isn't painful Zim. Well...it can be. Just not physically. Love just means you like somebody enough to want to know everything about them and be with them all the time. Or at least that's what I've gathered from those stupid romance shows Gaz has made me watch."

"Oh." Zim stated and then stared at Dib as if he were suddenly ill. "Wait a SECOND! You are always wanting to know more about ZIM! AND you spend every. waking. second with me." Zim paused and then stared at Dib as if he were a giant stink-beetle. "You LOVE me." he stated with mild distaste.

Dib started and spluttered. "What? No? That's Not-?! WOULD YOU STOP MIXING WORDS?!"

"Zim has no blender."

Dib groaned. "Just shut up and mate with me already." the human ground out smashing his lips against Zim's own, once again starting up and that mass of heat and friction that they came to need....to crave.

Dib, his hand already in Zim's pants, easily pulled the clothing free, following it quickly with Zim's boxers, the irken too occupied with exploring the human's chest and back to seem to care. It was only when Dib began to play with Zim's opening that the alien moved his hands, and then it was only to unfasten Dib's own pants. However, the second they and the briefs were far enough down to free Dib's aching erection Zim forcibly switched their positions. Falling ontop of Dib with a victorious smile. Dib stared up at Zim in annoyance and reached up to pull Zim down into a kiss, but the irken resisted and instead took hold of the human's pulsating need.

Zim stroked his second gently, then harder, eliciting appreciative moans from the dark-haired teen beneath him. And then, when it seemed Dib couldn't bear it any long Zim released him, receiving a strangled groan of need from the human who reached for the irken once more. Zim merely smiled and raised his hips up and positioned himself over Dib's member before slowly, tortuously, sliding himself onto Dib, the human filling his entrance with incredible heat.

Soon both were lost in the constant movement, the endless dreamy sort of sex that enveloped them both so completely they were lost to the outside world. It was only when both were lying spent on the floor that they seemed to finally come back to reality. With a slow sort of awkwardness the two went to their own beds for the night and each fell asleep facing the wall, afraid to look at the other for fear that what Zim had said was true.

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Dib awoke sometime in the night to the sound of terrified screams. Normally he would have bolted up right, but something wrapped around his middle kept him from moving. And in his sleep addled brain he couldn't for the life of him comprehend what it was that was restraining him. And then the door to their chambers was blasted open and Dib was faced with the most frightening thing he could ever imagine.

His little sister, with a very large lazer cannon, staring him down as he lied naked in bed. And then...to make matters worse the thing that wrapped itself around his middle pulled itself up to stare over his shoulder at Gaz.

Okay...so not only had his baby sister come to an alien planet and busted down the doors to it's leader's chambers and discovered him lying in their bed...naked....but she had come to an alien planet, busted down the doors to it's leader's chambers, and discovered him lying in their bed naked...with Zim spooning him. Oh if only she would shoot him and put him out of his misery.

Instead Gaz looked to the terrified Dib, then to the rather unsure and still frightened Zim before finally glaring at Dib and pointing a finger at him furiously. "I'm gonna come back in ten minutes. If you're not dressed and giving me an explanation by then I'm going to WASTE you got it?" she snapped.

Both alien and human nodded. "Good" the human girl snapped before slamming what was left of the chamber doors closed.

Such a frantic scrambling of clothing had never before been seen in the universe since that one episode of Futurama. Yeah you know the one. What? You want me to actually NAME the episode? Pssh...forget THAT!

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Neross: BAH it is nearly six and I've had no sleep. That's the best you get for now....REVIEW!....blkkjkjlk *drops dead*


	9. Fluffy Doom

Neross: Well hello again all my dutiful followers. And how have YOU been? ....Me? How have I been? Well....let me tell you....I'VE BEEN OUT OF MY MOTHER FREAKING MIND WITH BUSINESS THAT'S HOW I'VE BEEN. I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU WORK ON THREE FANFICS, MOVE INTO A DORM ROOM, AND WORK ON FINANCIAL ISSUES ALL AT ONCE!! *pant,pant* Yeah...okay...I've been busy like hell. Feel blessed that I'm updating at all...

Warning: This chapter may contain foul language, sexual situations, violence, adult situations, a big-lipped alligator moment, and inter-species relationships....enjoy my sick little darlings.

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The awkwardness that had ensued after Gaz's return stretched on for over an hour as the two boys of the circle seemed to be too nervous to actually talk and Gaz was too busy playing her gameslav to really be bothered. And then, at last, Gaz put away the gaming device and turned to staring down the boys, making them both shudder and exchange a brief look of panic and fear between themselves.

"So..." Gaz started, and that's when the madness broke loose. Broken free of the silence Dib and Zim collapsed into pleas, explanations, and blaming one another for anything and everything.

"It's not my fault Gaz. He kidnapped me honest!"

"The Dib was asking for it he was! He broke into my house!"

"I meant to call but I couldn't figure out how! And then everything was going all crazy! And Gaz! There were explosions torture!"

"And that stinking DWICKY! He's teamed up with the resisty! And they're just so STUpid!"

"And somehow me and Zim got a kid and it's not even my fault! And honestly my head's not THAT big and-"

Finally Gaz had had enough and she reached out and knocked the two Tallest's heads together before sitting there glaring at them again. "Would you two just shut up. I don't really care WHAT you've both been up to bu-....wait..." Gaz paused for a second and then turned a slightly disgusted and slightly furious glance to the two men across from her who swallowed in unison. "Did...did you say you guys have a KID? As in....as in a baby? You guys actually managed to create an offspring? How...no you know what? I don't want the details. "

Dib nervously let out a breath and leaned his forearms ontop of his knees to stare seriously at his sister. "Gaz. I hate to interrupt the whole interrogation thing, but I've got to know. Just how did you get here?"

Gaz simply rolled her eyes. "Tak's old ship. Duh. I mean honestly Dib all these years and you still didn't have it working right? I mean jeez how hard is it fix a space ship?"

Dib stared at his little sister incredulously for a moment, opened his mouth, and then shut it again before elbowing Zim in the side to stop him from snickering at Dib's embarrassment. The irken shot him a glare but it quickly died when he realized Gaz was glaring at them again.

"What I really want to know is what is going on with this kid of yours. I mean seriously...where is this kid....and just how much of your ugly genes did it inherit Dib?"

Dib glared at Gaz and was about to retort when Zim spoke up instead. "Zib is a perfect example of MY superior irken genes. (save for Dib's cursed hippo-sized head that is). And so of course MY genius offspring shall be sent for training and in twenty years She can be rais-" But Zim never got a chance to finish as Gaz had literally forced his mouth shut by shoving a particularly large shoe into his mouth.

"Yeah ...that clinches it. The kid's coming with me. It's obvious green boy's got no knack for child-rearing and knowing YOU." she snapped turning on her bother with a glare that had him searching for a way to climb over his seat and hide behind it. " Probably just let her run off all on her own for the past couple of days. Honestly you're just like dad. "

Dib raised a finger in protest before lowering it in consideration. Maybe he WAS just like his father...but still he hadn't let his toddler just run around unsupervised....wait yes he had. Okay so he was just like his father ...damn. Gaz had a point. "But Zib is an alien Gaz! How are you going to keep her from getting caught by the FBI or something?" Dib asked, honestly a bit worried for his daughter..er...clone.

Gaz stared at Dib incredulously and raised an eyebrow. "You're kidding right? Zim ran through the neighborhood one night in a giant robot without his disguise and no one even noticed. I doubt it'll be hard to disguise the little rug-rat well enough for her to blend in. Besides....if anybody asks...I'll just tell them the truth. She's my brother and Zim's stupid kid. Nobody'll care then."

Dib blinked and then let his mouth fall open in disbelief before he shouted. "BUT THAT MAKES NO SENSE!! First of all we're both guys! And cloning doesn't even exist back on earth yet!"

Gaz rose an eyebrow. "Well I was going to use the artificial insemination excuse...but if you don't think it's good enough then we can always go with the whole cloning thing."

Dib's trap shut good. "Oh...yeah okay I guess that could work."

"Good" Gaz stated simply, standing. "Then I'm taking the brat and getting the hell out of here. This place is less interesting than Zim's stupid base. Where is my hideous niece anyway."

Zim, having finally removed the offense shoe from his throat threw it to the ground and stood suddenly, Dib following his movement due to the way the alien was shooting daggers at his sister.

"Over Zim's DEAD BODY will you be taking my precious little offspring and creation of MY perfect genes! Zib is MY child and she will remain HERE! Where I can keep an eye on her! Where it is SAFE! Your HIDEOUS dirt-ball of a planet is too dangerous and too unsecured to protect OUR. HEIR." Zim ground out glaring at Gaz so viciously that Dib was actually afraid that the alien would hurt her.

"Daily reports and you can visit every month." Gaz stated smoothly.

For a second there was awkward silence until Zim finally replied, rather curtly in Dib's opinion. "You will also, of course, be sending me a detailed description of your security?"

"Of course."

"Robots that feed on human flesh still?"

"Yep."

"Any weaponry above putrid lazer grade?"

"Pssh, each one's been outfitted with at least a level S giga-lazeer and one perpetual energy generator."

"Shield technology?"

"A class."

Zim was quiet for a moment, still glaring before at last he seemed to give up and turn back to Dib. "I can deal with this."

Dib merely groaned and rolled his eyes before going off to search for Zib.

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Neross: What? It's short and sweet because it needs to be. More smut next chapter I promise. I needed to get the horrible taste of fluff out of my system. No seriously, it tastes like some sort of horrible cotton-candy and actual cotton mixture. It's terrible. I do NOT do fluff. *shudders*

Euugh....alright. In any case leave a review or suffer MY TERRIBLE SICKY WRATH!! *hacks in readers general direction* Now if you'll excuse me I have Danny Phantom fanfiction to update before I collapse from fever.


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